To Santa or Not?
OK, here’s the biggie … How do you feel about Santa Claus?
I am an only child, and I didn’t live near any of my cousins, so there were no older kids around to tell me about Santa. That may be why I remember being so terribly crushed when I “found out”. After much discussion, my DH and I decided that we would emphasize the birth of baby Jesus, and downplay the importance of Santa.
We never did any of the things many parents do, like putting out milk and cookies, and then taking a bite and drinking some of the milk, and our children always knew their presents came from us.
We did have a tree and stockings, but the main holiday “decoration” was always a Nativity scene. We even had a plastic set of Mary, Joseph, and baby Jesus that our children could play with, so they would leave the fancy set alone. I still have that set, all scratched and even colored on, and it’s one of my prized possessions, as it brings back many good memories.
Do you/did you encourage/discourage your child’s belief in Santa? Do you have any specific memories of how you felt as a child when you learned the real meaning of Santa? Does the Santa tradition conflict with your religious beliefs? Is how to celebrate the holidays a point of agreement or disagreement with your spouse?
I don’t have any kids, but my parents told me straight off that Santa wasn’t real. Honestly, I think that’s the best way to go. Why is it OK to lie to your kids about whether something is real or not and then punish them for lying? It never made sense to me.
Plus Jesus totally pwns Santa.
Ditto. I was raised without Santa or Easter bunnies – never felt in the least bit deprived or weird because of it.
I bought up my daughter to thank the people who loved her and worked hard to buy presents for her. Why would I raise a child to believe that some fat man, a total stranger, gave her all those presents every Xmas? Or that Easter bunnies left things for her?
It’s quite a perverse way to raise any child; and then parents wonder why their kids are “ungrateful”. Well, maybe because they are being raised to believe that lots of very expensive stuff arrives out of no-where, from strangers.
Besides, as a parent, why would I tell such whopping and perverted lies to an innocent child? It’s a bit sick really. There are lots of fun and fanciful things in childhood, games and stories and learning about the world – there is zero need for lies about santa and bunnies.
I did play along with the tooth fairy though, and left coins under the pillow.
Thanks for the comments, silverbubble and caz! I’m sure there are plenty of folks who don’t agree with us, though.
Come to think of it, caz, we did the tooth fairy bit, too! Maybe that one seemed OK because there was no religious significance to the occassion.
Well I was bright enough to figure out there was no real Santa. But having one would be a lot of fun. Imagine one guaranteed gift if you’ve been good during the year, which I have.
Dr. Fil
https://dr.fil.ph
Well, Dr. Fil, I’m no dummy, IQ wise, but I swallowed it hook, line, and sinker LOL!
Thing is, now that we’re retired, there’s really not anything that either one of us wants that we haven’t already bought or been given ;).
So now, more than ever, the joy of Christmas is in giving, not receiving.
I was awake one Christmas eve, and watched my dad come through the door with a huge “Toys R Us” bag, so i worked out santa didn’t exist when i was only 4.
I remeber being told off by achild minder for telling other children he didn’t exist too.
I don’t think children should be lied too about where things come from, and would teach my children that Father Christmas is a fictional character I expect.
Where can I find astuffed animals that feel like real fur?? My son is autistic and is terrorizing the cats by loving them all the time..
You bring up a good point, Nancy.
“I remeber being told off by achild minder for telling other children he didn’t exist too. “
I remember cautioning our children not to “tell”, but my daughter tells me she got into trouble at school with her friends for “telling”.
I wish you had posted so I could contact you, anonymous.
There are stuffed animals covered in mink, which of course would be expensive. But we do have very soft plush stuffed animals that have such wonderfully soft fake fur that they might be appropriate for your child’s needs.
If you read this, anonymous, please Contact Us!
My husband and I are trying to figure this one out. His family is ALL about Santa. We are Christian and want to present Christmas as a Christian holiday. HOwever how do you do that without making it seem like we are saying to my in-laws “you were awful parents by doing all that santa stuff”?
I had this topic on my blog as well:-)
DDK23, Thanks for commenting! We were the only ones in either family who did not play the Santa thing to the hilt, so we emphasized Baby Jesus at home, and we let them enjoy the traditions of our parents when they visited.
Children understand make believe very early, as so many children’s books are full of talking animals, etc. Santa was fun, but not real.
I read your blog post and followed your link to another blogger’s post on the same topic. Looks like plenty of parents struggle with this.
I guess I will be the voice of the other side of this topic, two of our three children still believe in Santa Claus and we don’t discourage them to believe in Santa Claus at the same time we teach our kids about the true meaning of Christmas.
I would never tell anyone that they are wrong about how they raise their kids. Well, unless they are abusing their kids then all bets are off. Everyone that has commented on this post have great reasons for their opinions and I wouldn’t say they are wrong in how they handle raising their kids.
Thanks, Jon, for commenting. I never meant to come across as trying to tell anyone how to raise their children, so I hope you didn’t think I was.
This was not an easy decision for us at the time, but didn’t cause much of a problem, once our families saw that we really had thought through our position and had no intention of changing it.
There’s a great article about the PROS of believing in Santa Claus that you might like to read at Why Do We Deceive Our Children Each Christmas?.
Help me out a little, and I’m not complaining, but I don’t find it anywhere that says that Christmas is Jesus’s birthday.
According to Answers.com it is Christ’s Mass or the feast of the nativity.
It’s probably being a little nit picky but if you are going to have a discussion on the “true” meaning of Christmas and how Santa fits or doesn’t, don’t you have to go all the way to the basics of Christmas.
It just seems like a little contradiction that’s all, but not a big one. Like if you work in the Mall and they ask you not to say Merry Christmas to someone, but in the background they are playing traditional Christmas music all day long.
Also isn’t Santa a derivative of Saint Nicholas who actually did some good things, but got taken over from a materialistic society?
Just thoughts, I glad you brought the topic up.
Merry Christmas!
Thanks for the thoughts, Peter. Of course we don’t really know the date Jesus was born, but he was definitely born LOL. That being said, it seems appropriate to pick a day to celebrate, so the long standing tradition of Christmas seems reasonable to me. As for St. Nicholas, we tried to emphasize that aspect of Santa to our children.
Watch out now LOL, you’ve opened up a whole bag of worms about the politically correct move by retailers to take all religious significance out of the Christmas season, as if “shopping” was ever a religious activity, anyway.
Thank you, Crissa, for your comment via email.
As a Catholic, I was taught about the spirit of Santa in the real saint nicholas…how we honor his memory, along with the gifts of the wisemen, by sharing gifts. The rest of the traditions, including cookies for the deer, was a fun tradition (like playing a game). I wouldn’t take that away.
Your debate is very interesting, and it is triggering so many thoughts, that I might as well post my answer on my own blog. As an incentive, I would like to say that I am more in agreement of telling the truth, but still have mixed feelings.
Thanks for commenting here and posting on your own blog, too, Hiddenson! I’ve written on yours, too, and found the thoughtful comments your readers are making to be very interesting.
Hi! You had asked me to post in regards to anonymous’ posting for a toy for their autistic son. I’m not too sure about stuffed animals that feel real, but it sounds like a sensory thing and there are tons of sensory funhouses on the web.
You could try The Therapy Shoppe or Starz 4 Kids.
Thanks, Wendy, for taking the time to post these links. Maybe Anonymous will see them and find what she needs for her child.