We’ve Just Been Published Again!!
A Parent’s Nightmare – How to Prevent Dealing with a Grieving Child Who Has Lost Their Lovie!
By Rosemary (aka Dirty Butter)
After years of helping frantic families desperately trying to find their child’s lost lovie, I think I can give some knowledgeable suggestions to all you parents and grandparents.
First of all, If you realize that a toy is becoming very important to your child, it’s time to start trying right then to get several duplicates, while they can still be found. Carter’s, for instance, makes a new variation of their toys every 6 months. That’s plenty enough time for your precious baby to pick out one particularly important toy as their security lovie and then have trouble finding a duplicate. Sometimes these lovies are blankies, but not always. Many babies become used to going to sleep to the music of a pull down crib toy. All kinds of super soft baby toys become “REAL”.
So what can you do??
First of all, buy at least 3 backup lovies as soon as you are sure that is THE one for your child. Then, we would suggest that you alternate all of them so you don’t end up trying to replace a raggedy lovey with his brand new cousin. Some parents have gone to the extreme to buy a new one and make it as “good as old,” by dragging it through the dirt, smushing it, and running it through the washing machine several times.
While you still have a good one, take lots of photos of the toy close up. Show the tag, too, so you will know the brand information long after the tush tag has faded or been chewed off. Make sure you use a plain dark background for a light toy or a light background for a dark toy. Sometimes it is important to know where it was bought, or if it was won from one of those vending machines.
Of course you will want photos of your child with this important member of the family for your own photo albums. But I personally discourage displaying photos of your child with the toy on the Internet. We edit out the child as best we can on our Lost Toy Search Service posts.
Some parents put a phone number on the tush tag in laundry ink, but more put the child’s name on the tag. With security issues concerning children and pedophiles becoming more and more a problem, I can’t endorse putting your child’s name on the tag, and certainly not their full name.
What do you do if you did not buy any backups, and now the lovie is in shreds? Take a photo of it, again paying attention to using the best background for the lovie. Check on eBay for a backup, but also add your request to the Want It Now section of eBay. If it has been lost, and the only photos of it are with your child, we will edit your child out of the photo as much as possible.
Be sure to send your request for help to our Plush Memories Lost Toy Search Service blog. We have been featured on msnbc.com, so we get a lot of traffic. The more eyes who see your request for help , the odds improve in your favor that someone will find it for you. And we have lots of satisfied families whom we have helped who search for requested toys as a way of paying me back for helping them find their lost lovie.
There are a few other places on the Internet that you can post a brief request, but most of those limit how much you can say and do not have any way of showing your photos. As far as I can tell, we have the best place to ask for help finding that lost toy. OK, so I’m just a wee tad prejudiced about that. LOL!!
I hope I have given you some useful suggestions. If we can help you, please email us!
We invite you to learn more about plush toys and come shop with us at our DIRTY BUTTER PLUSH ANIMAL SHOPPE.
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that is a great article and this is a great website. i had no idea it had been on msnbc.com and stuff..that’s awesome! people have no idea just how important and meaningful some plush animals can be to certain children/people ..and i love that you call them lovies =) Thanks again for all the help!!
Thanks for the vote of confidence and the compliments, Julie. This is a very satisfying “job,” but it won’t work unless lots of people are searching, so Thank YOU, Julie!!
Great article. Some who have not experienced this might not think it would be that serious, but I am here to say that my son was seriously shaken up by losing his Bear, and the whole experience was eye-opening (and equally painful) for me. Never expected to be taught a lesson in how children grieve by a little stuffed toy, and I know that we are truly lucky if this is the only loss he’s ever experienced in his young life. But next to his family, Bear was who my son loved the most.
Good luck to all who are searching, and thanks agin for the great site.
Jennifer
You are right, Jennifer. Grief is really the only word that adequately describes what some children go through when they lose their lovie. They become as real to them as any living thing or person can, and miss them just as deeply. It becomes the parent’s responsibility to help them deal with that grief, either by finding the lovie, or helping them to move on without it.